


Sweat and conversations seep into my bones

by suckerforblove



Series: How it's like to date Derek Hale [5]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Also kind of, Awesome Sheriff Stilinski, Boys Kissing, Conversations, Denial of Feelings, Derek Hale is a Softie, Derek is just so sweet, Domestic Fluff, Explanations, Feelings, Feelings Realization, Fluff and Angst, Friends With Benefits, Gentle Kissing, Light Angst, Literal Sleeping Together, Lydia Martin & Stiles Stilinski Friendship, M/M, Oblivious, Possibly Unrequited Love, Relationship Discussions, Scott McCall & Stiles Stilinski Friendship, Sheriff Stilinski Finds Out About Derek/Stiles Relationship, Talking, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, and Stiles is so whipped, but not that unhealthy, just not very nice, not really denial
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-07-05
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:15:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25088284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/suckerforblove/pseuds/suckerforblove
Summary: "Conversation is interactive communication between two or more people.""The development of conversational skills and etiquette is an important part of socialization.""Talking can be a way to cope with a problem you’ve been carrying around in your head for a while. Just being listened to can help you feel supported and less alone."or the one where Stiles have four important conversations about feelings - one with Derek, then a few similar ones with Scott, Lydia and then with his father.
Relationships: Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski
Series: How it's like to date Derek Hale [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1420468
Comments: 6
Kudos: 111





	Sweat and conversations seep into my bones

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Troye Sivan's Happy Little Pill.  
> (because I wanted the term "conversation" and that was the only one I could remember that made some sense, btw)

> **D E R E K - H A L E**

Stiles couldn’t stop thinking about it. About Derek. About them.

Fuck, the werewolf called him “love”. How was he supposed to know where they stand after that? How was he supposed to act around the man after feeling so close in a way he had never felt with anyone? It felt so intimate, so filled with feelings not so friendly that he wasn’t sure he could stop thinking about Derek’s voice calling him by pet names.

That’s why he decided to confront him.

They were lying in bed, watching a TV show about wedding dresses on H&H for some reason when he huffed loudly, attracting the werewolf’s eyes. His heart was pounding for the last ten minutes, he was probably reeking anxiety, but Derek was too nice to ask, so he just kept eyeing him from time to time, rubbing a soothing hand on his ankle to calm him down - but it wasn’t exactly helping.

“What?” Hale finally questioned, not needing to specify. His voice was filled with some curiosity mixed with concern, but his eyes were as soft as his touch.

“Did something change for you? Between us, I mean.” he started, not wanting to simply assume Derek’s feelings. His therapist said it was rude to do that. “Fuck, I’m not good at explaining myself, I know. What I mean is… Did your feelings _change_? Towards me, I mean. Somehow? Are you… I don’t know, Derek, do you get what I’m trying to say?”

“Yes.” the werewolf nodded, but quickly froze. “I mean, I get what you’re asking, but no, nothing’s changed, my feelings... are still the same. Why are you asking? Did I do something? Am I acting… I don’t know, am I making you feel like something’s changed?”

“No, I just- Fuck, it’s not…” Stiles grunted. “No, Der, I just couldn’t help but wonder. We never really discussed much about us, you know.”

“I know I’m not really good at… This thing, at anything that involves other people, really. But I’m trying, Stiles. I swear I’m trying and the last thing I want is to make you confused, so I’m sorry.” his voice was serious, almost weak from how low he was speaking. “If I’m doing something wrong, I’m sorry. Just tell me if you want something to be different, if I’m doing something you don’t like. Wait, did something change for _you_? Did _your_ feelings change?”

“Oh, shut up, Derek.” he tried to joke, letting out a laugh instead of answering because he didn’t know how his heart was going to sound. Fuck those werewolf’s senses. “Everything’s okay, you’re not doing anything wrong, I promise. And I absolutely love everything we do together. What we have.”

Okay, not subtle at all, but that seemed to work just fine from the way Derek smiled at him before pulling him into a hug. Strong arms around him kept Stiles in place for long enough to get his heartbeat steady and his whole body calm down. The human closed his eyes, allowing himself to drift off to sleep instead of thinking about that rejection. 

When he woke up, Derek was making them food and it smelled delicious.

They ate while talking about random topics, almost as if nothing had happened a few hours before. Stiles loved talking to Derek, loved laughing with the man and listening to how he saw the world, each thought he had about things and society. But he couldn’t help the sadness in his chest from their previous conversation and, eventually, the werewolf stopped talking and sighed, finishing his plate and getting up, walking towards the human.

“Hey, why are you so down? I thought we had talked about what was bothering you.” Hale nearly whispered, his tone sweet and cautious. He reached to touch Stilinski’s cheek with his thumb softly. “I’m sorry if I’m making you feel bad, I don’t… I don’t know what to say, Stiles. I don’t know what you’re expecting from me right now.”

“It’s okay, Der.” he chuckled weakly. “I promise it is. I’m fine, you’re great. You’re amazing, don’t worry. There’s nothing wrong.”

“Are we okay?” the man questioned, still looking at the other with worried eyes. “How can I make it better?”

“We are okay. Kiss me.” he asked, eyes fluttering closed as he breathed out his insecurities. “Just… Just kiss me.”

Derek didn’t say anything. He just pressed his lips to Stiles’ in a soft kiss, arms wrapping around the man’s waist. The kiss was sweet and slow, almost careful. Both of them were unsure, holding back, but wanting to solve everything through the gesture. Stiles knew how unhealthy that was, how he should tell Derek he couldn’t do it anymore, he was in love and his feelings would get in the way and…

Fuck, he was in love with Derek Hale.

He couldn’t deny it anymore, he couldn’t pretend it was just sexual feelings mixed with their friendship. It didn’t sound convincing - not even to himself - anymore. He fell in love and ruined that friends with benefits thing they had going on after explicitly telling Derek his feelings hadn’t changed and that things were okay between them. He knew he was only going to hurt himself, he shouldn’t, he should tell the werewolf the truth, but…

The kiss felt so good. The way Derek deepened it, grabbing him closer and licking into his mouth made the kiss seem even passionate. Even if Derek just told him it wasn’t, explained he was bad with feelings and probably was just being friendly in his own weird way, it felt so intimate. He felt his whole body weaker, melting into the touches.

So, obviously, when they parted, he couldn’t bring himself to have the much needed conversation with the werewolf. All he could do was look at Derek and wrap his whole body around him, feeling the man’s chest moving against him with his slow breath and focusing on it to calm himself down. They stood like that, Stiles’ mind racing as he tried to reason with his own feelings.

> **S C O T T - M C C A L L**

A few days later, Stiles found himself sitting next to Scott on his couch, both watching TV and talking about the recent events in their lives. Hours into the conversation, Scott’s laugh about some dumb story his best friend was telling died slowly and his puppy eyes found the human, almost expectantly.

“What?” Stilinski asked, frowning.

“Dude, your whole apartment reek of Derek. You are reeking of him.” McCall told him with an amused tone, holding in his laugh. “Man, I’ve seen it coming. Even me! I noticed your crush on him since we were teenagers. I’ve been kind of waiting for you to tell me.”

With a deep sigh, Stiles sank on the couch, dropping his head back and staring into the ceiling.

“What, dude? Aren’t you happy you two finally sort things out?” the Alpha asked, confusion all over his face. “You were texting him earlier with a whipped expression, so I doubt you’ve been fighting. So, explain.”

“We’re not together.” Stilinski explained. “I mean, we’re like, fuckbuddies. I don’t know, we haven’t exactly put a label, but we’ve talked about our feelings not changing a few days ago.”

“Huh, but… Man, I’ve seen the way you’ve interacted the last three times I came here to see you two. I’ve seen how he looks at you, how you’re all over each other.” Scott looked lost, tilting his head to the side. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I was thinking about it, that’s why I confronted him. But basically, Derek said he’s bad with human relationships, that’s why he’s so damn confusing, but his feelings are the same as before.” he tried to sound less hurt and less sad than he felt. “I mean, I get it, I’m just a friend, Scotty. The difference is that we’re having fun together. Lots and lots of fun, by the way.”

“Uhhh, about that… Is he good in bed?” luckly, it was easy to distract Scott from any subject and Stiles knew exactly how. “How good?”

“Better than anyone else I’ve been with. You have no idea.” Stilinski chuckled, this time a little less sad for real. “He’s amazing, Scotty, I’d say you should try, but…”

“Not really my type.” Scott scrunched his nose. “But if I liked man, I’d go for it. So, lucky you!”

“Lucky me.” Stiles repeated in a subtle sarcastic tone, smiling half hearted at his excited best friend. “Absolutely.”

> **L Y D I A - M A R T I N**

The second person that brought it up was Lydia and, to be honest, Stiles wasn’t really surprised when she called him after Scott left. His best friend told Malia and Malia told Lydia, he knew that would happen in the second he opened his mouth. The redhead demanded to know more than McCall, asked about their first kiss together and was shocked when he talked about their latest conversation.

“Lyds, he’s been through hell in his past relationships. His first love died kinda because of a plan he initiated. After that, while he was still vulnerable, the psycho murderous bitch seduced him and murdered his whole family. Then Jennifer lied to him about who she really was and turned out to be another murderous bitch. And last but not least, Braeden tried to kill him because she was paid to do so.” he babbled, even though Lydia knew the whole story. “I mean, the man’s traumatized about relationships.”

“And that’s an excuse to use you?” she questioned in her witty tone. “Stiles, he’s…”

“He’s not using me. I told him that my feelings didn’t change, I told him it was okay. He doesn’t know how I feel.” he tried to explain. “He just wants someone to have fun with, sometimes to get cozy around, but without the romantic implications that can cause a lot of trouble.”

“Wait, how he doesn’t know how you feel? He’s got werewolf senses and you’re a shitty liar. You can’t keep it cool like, ever.” she argued. “How he hasn’t caught up on that yet?”

“I’m not that bad!” he protested, but sighed. “I mean, Lyd, it’s fine. I’m happy he’s happy, you know? That I can be there for him and make things better. Even if it’s just as a fuckbuddy. I understand his fear and I won’t push him.”

“You’ll hurt yourself.” was her final statement on the subject.

> **N O A H - S T I L I N S K I**

On the next day, Stiles wasn’t at all surprised when his father called and tried to be casual with the question “and how about your heart, son?”. He rolled his eyes, already sure where the Sheriff was aiming to get.

“Well well, I see your relationship with Natalie Martin is going strong, huh?” he teased, hearing a few complaints from his father before the man went back to the previous question.

“How are things?” Noah asked in a concerned voice, making him drop his guard. “I just wish you told me more about your life, kiddo. I’m your father, you’re away, I wanna know how you are doing. And make sure you won’t hurt yourself.”

“What did Lydia tell you? That I was going to get myself hurt? Get my heart broken?” he tried to chuckle, but it failed to make it casual. “Dad, I’m fine, don’t worry.”

“Is it true? You’re going out with Derek?” he questioned and, well, “going out” wasn’t exactly the term. How was he supposed to explain that to his father without the term “casual sex” or “fuckbuddies”?

“I mean, kinda. But it’s not serious, we’re friends.” he tried. “I won’t get my heart broken.”

“Friends with benefits never end well, Stiles. Someone always gets hurt and, honestly, I care about both of you too much to not be worried about who’s going to walk out of this friendship with a broken heart.” Noah said wisely, emphasizing the word “friendship”. “Do you have… feelings for him?”

“Dad, listen, I care about him as well. And I know how to take care of myself.” Stiles tried to sound more confident than he feld. “We’re both adults minding our own business. I’d appreciate it if my private life could stay out of public discussion. Damn, I only told Scott and now what? The whole Beacon Hills knows about it.”

“Right, son. I’m sorry. You are an adult and, as irresponsible as you can be sometimes, I trust your decisions and it’s your thing, your business.” the Sheriff sounded defeated, but still worried. “Just make sure the two of you are always on the same page, okay? Communication is the key. Don’t risk your heart and don’t hurt Derek, he’s been through enough. Be careful and, well, be _safe_.”

“Oh god. Dad!” he grunted, hearing his father laugh on the phone.

Communication is the key. Well, Stiles was good at talking, not exactly efficient at communicating his feelings, wishes and needs. That weird conversation and the rejection he got from Derek would have to do. They were not on the same page, but he could twist the book a little so they could keep that weird and messy friendship with benefits.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it! Feel free to leave a comment, if you want to!
> 
> Thanks for reading (and if you left kudos, thank you <3).


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